Tuesday, February 5

Samuel's Whirlwind Birth Story


Thursday, January 3rd was my due date. It came and went, and I was more than a little discouraged. I had really hoped (foolishly, I admit) that this baby would come on time or be early. Pregnancy and my body do not mesh, and so at the end every day felt like an eternity! But this baby wanted to come on his own time!  Friday night I was just not up for making supper so we made a quick trip out to Morris to eat out.  On the way I started to have pretty uncomfortable contractions.  I whipped out my iPhone with its trusty 'Contraction Moniter' App and started timing.



I found that the contractions were only about 6 minutes apart and I rated them medium/strong.  For the last few weeks (ever since the baby's head dropped) I had been having what I always call "working" contractions. More than just the tightness that I feel braxton hicks - these contractions would send shooting pains through my lower abdomen and I could feel myself starting to dialate.  At my appointment the day before, the doctor had told me that I was already at about 2cm dialated.  These contractions however, were stronger than before, and I definitely had to focus my way through them.  The contractions stayed strong and constant all throughout our supper and I really thought this might be it! Much to my disappointment, however, they did not get stronger, and by the time we had the kids in bed I was timing them at 10 minutes.  So, I went off to bed and hoped for a good night's sleep.



Saturday we had a relaxed morning at home, and after lunch I started to feel similar contractions to the night before.  They were 7-8 minutes apart.  We played a games together as a family, all the while I was timing the contractions. After a couple of hours, they had dwindled off to 11 minutes apart or more and so I wrote off another day thinking I may well stay pregnant forever! The kids ran off to play and I lay down to rest up before our family gathering in the late afternoon. At 10 after 3 I woke up with a start. Now THAT was a contraction.  I quickly entered it into my phone app, and - WHAM - the next one hit 3 minutes later.  I gave Scott a wide eyed look and said . . . "I think we might be sending the kids to the gathering without us."  He gave me a skeptical look (he was used to me being hopeful about this being 'it') and I got up to go to the bathroom. On the way, I had my first contraction while standing, and lets just say I'm glad I was right beside the bed. Wow.  So I grabbed my pillow, walked back to the living room and told Scott "Let's go."  We (HA - I should say, HE) packed up the kids, and we drove to my Mom's.

By the time we got to my Moms I knew without a doubt that this was the real thing.  Along the way, the kids had been happily chattering and I could hardly even speak a word to them because I had to concentrate so hard on staying sane through the pain. Oliver asked, if it was going to hurt.  I told him yes and he said "We should pray for Mommy."  In those precious last few moments as a family of 5 we prayed together for this new baby that was going to be joining our lives and it brought me to tears.  Kalia said "Mom, my heart is beating so fast because I am so excited! Make sure you call me as soon as the baby is born to tell me all about it!"  I opted to stay in the vehicle while Scott brought the kids in.  The gathering was at my parents' house at 4:00, and so it really worked out perfectly.  It was 3:26 when we dropped them off and took off for the hospital. When we got back into Rosenort, Scott asked if he should stop for a water bottle for me and all I could say was "Hurry." And hurry he did.

Between contractions, I sent this text:


Along the way, the contractions got longer and longer, and closer together, until I got to a point where I could hardly get a full breath between them. Scott called the hospital to tell them we were on our way and that we were in a rush. I think Scott was surprised how well I held it together through the pain and since I could barely speak we had kind of a fun little 'game' going on of him trying to gauge by my expressions and body language how bad a contraction was.  And then it came, that feeling that you DON'T want to have in the vehicle. I managed to tell Scott that I felt a lot of pressure and I was pretty sure I was ready to push.  All he said was "We have 5 miles left". We were going as fast as the van would take us, and I was praying to make it safely to the hospital.  We pulled up right in front of the doors, and Scott ran in to get me a wheelchair (there was NO way I was going to risk walking!) and ran me to the admitting desk where we waited (forever!!!!) to be sent up. And yes, I was having a contraction the entire time and couldn't understand why that woman needed to sit there playing with her fax machine for so long!!

Finally we made it to the second floor and almost to the maternity ward. Another contraction hit and I had to make Scott stop pushing the wheelchair because there were no foot pedals and I couldn't hold my legs up and breathe through it at the same time. The nurses heard the commotion from around the corner and one of them (God bless her!) grabbed my feet, and practically ran backwards down the hall holding them up while Scott pushed me ahead.  We (finally!!) arrived at the hospital room - right at the end of the hall!!

We rolled into the room and they asked me if I wanted to change into a hospital gown. "No," I gasped "There's not time".  So they helped me into the bed and, sure, enough, I was ready to push.  They asked me if I wanted to wait for the Dr but I said no.  I didn't want to make the horror of those contractions wait any longer than I needed to! So as they frantically tried to hook up the moniters, my next contraction hit. I gave a strong push and the nurse gasped and said she could see the head.  Just before my next contraction the Dr breezed in.  Two more pushes (one for the head and another for the shoulders) and our little boy was born.  4:24 - exactly 2 minutes shy of an hour after we dropped off the kids.  He was our first baby to come out crying and he was just perfect - all 8 pounds 12.5 ounces of him!

First picture of Mama and baby - feeling so in love with this baby that was growing inside of me for 9 months.

 So proud of our newest little boy

 Bonding with Daddy.  Scott had been waiting for the arrival of Samuel as anxiously as I had and I could hardly get a chance to hold him in those first moments! 

 He didn't close his eyes for about an hour after he was born - too much to see!  He was just wide awake and perfectly content.

 Just so happy to have him in my arms.  The relief that I felt after he was born was so strong that I felt it physically as well as emotionally. Finally our little boy was there for us to snuggle and hold and it felt wonderful.  No amount of waiting and anticipation could have prepared us for how much we would love him.

 Little newborn body


 Meeting little Samuel! They couldn't stop smiling, touching him, and exclaiming over his little body.  Oliver was very quick to point out that the baby was naked!



 I'm not sure who looks prouder in this picture, Scott or Hayden. Makes my heart burst!


 He started holding on to our hands almost as soon as he was born and has hardly let go ever since.

First picture as a family of 6! We are so happy to have Samuel as a part of our family. The older 3 have just been wonderful. They are in awe of their new baby brother and there is constantly a lineup of little hands waiting to hold him, and little lips kissing him all over.  Hayden loves to kiss "baby's little hands".  We just feel so thankful that they have welcomed him into our family with open arms.
 Love that eye contact. Those first moments are so precious.





Wednesday, January 9

North Pole, here I am!


Samuel Reid Siemens
January 5, 2013
4:26 pm
8 pounds, 12.5 ounces
22 3/4 inches

 Tiniest baby toes

Minutes old

Bonding with Mommy




Friday, January 4

The Waiting Game

Tick tock, tick tock . . . and now we wait . . .


On my due date, January 3rd 2013


My due date has come and gone, and the wait has been more difficult this time! Maybe it's because since I was 4 1/2 months pregnant, people have been saying to me "You must be due any day now!!" Yeah. Thanks.  I've had it over and over where people tell me how great I look and how cute pregnancy looks on me and then the dreaded question would hit "When are you due?" When I answered with January, I was often met with dead silence, and wide eyes.  Then, after they managed to scrape their jaws off of the floor, they so kindly say "Wow, I thought you were going to say tomorrow!" Feels great by the way :)

But I have a confession to make: I've been having a bit of a struggle with this pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my baby and thank God for the blessing of this life growing inside of me, but I just can't seem to fully enjoy this pregnancy. A friend of mine said it perfectly the other day: after baby number three you start to feel like an old lady when you're pregnant! I have just been weary, sore and broken down for months. Because of my pneumonia with Oliver's pregnancy my lungs are weak and sometimes menial things (like standing or walking!) are just too much and I am totally out of breath. It was worsened by the fact that baby was transverse throughout much of the pregnancy.  Thankfully that has been a lot better since baby dropped a couple of weeks ago.

But now it seems that baby and I are stuck in a game of battle of the wills.  Who can stick it out longer - me or the little bitty bundle inside of me?  Right now it's a toss up.







But there have been many blessings throughout this process as well.  One, is how amazing my other 3 kids have been.  They are just so in love with the baby already - especially Hayden! Constantly showering my belly with snuggles and kisses.  And they all get SO excited when I let them feel the baby kicking and moving inside of me.  It's been fascinating to watch it all through their eyes.  Plus, I myself LOVE feeling that baby tumbling around and wiggling.  That is truly the best part of pregnancy.  Every kick and movement is so cherished.



Another thing is the amazing support that Scott has been to me throughout pregnancy. I don't think we have ever been closer in our marriage than we are now and he is constantly looking for ways to help me out, often taking care of me, the kids, the house, and the meals on top of his own busy schedule.  He has been so understanding about how hard this pregnancy has been on  my body.  It seems like every time I start to get discouraged about what I can't physically do, he surprises me with a clean kitchen, with taking the kids on an outing so I can rest, or bringing home a favorite meal.  Love that guy, and I am so thankful to have him as my husband and a daddy for our little ones.


Here is a little "treat" that I got for baby from my sweet Mom! She knew that I love diaper cakes and so she made this pretty one for me! Who knew I'd get something like this for baby number 4?  On top of that sweetness she has been helping me with laundry and cleaning and helping out with the kids. SO blessed.

So when is baby going to come and who is he/she going to be??? SOOOO curious!  I cannot wait to bring this little one home and make him or her a part of our lives.

Thursday, September 6

Hayden Turns 2!

I can't believe that two years of my little baby's life have gone by already! It has just been a blur.

Hayden Xavier you are just such a ray of sunshine in my life! I can never get enough of your silly giggles, the way you scrunch up your nose when you smile, or your beautiful tenderness in the way you show love to us. I wish I could capture the feeling of your little hugs, kisses, and snuggles which you so generously give out. It is so fun to watch how you want to be exactly like your big brother. How you mimic his every word and action. Yet you are so independent and rarely let the older two tell you what to do. I have never known such a little person to know their mind as well as you. Sometimes I adore that about you and sometimes it drives me crazy!! And your silly little pout - you usually forget what you were pouting about before long. I love watching you play digger, baler, and semi for hours and how you like to play just how daddy works when we go visit him on the field. Your excitement over everything on wheels is contagious! Happy Birthday Hayden! I can't wait to see what this next year has in store for you. Love Mommy

Saturday, July 14

Cherishing Every Moment



Yesterday we went to a funeral for a friend who had a tragic accident last weekend.  We hadn't spend a lot of time with her and her husband in the last few years, but we used to hang out with them a fair bit.  The guys played hockey together and us girls would always tag along to games and hang out together, and almost every week we played Saturday night poker with them and some other friends.  It is just so, so sad to see a young vibrant life ending so suddenly, and even more heartbreaking for those who are left behind.  I feel like my thoughts and prayers in this last week have been consumed with hurt for her close family and friends, as well as the questions that always come with such tragedy.  Yesterday at the funeral, her dad went up and he seemed almost urgent with his message, desperate for everyone to grasp the fact that we need to embrace life and live every moment in a way that shows others what you stand for.  The words that really hit me were "All it takes is a second.  Just one second and everything changes."  There are no second chances, no way to try again and make it right the second time.  It's so . . . final.

In the evening when the kids were off to bed I really broke down and just felt overwhelmed with the loss of her life and how unjust it seems, I felt it to my very core.  But it also hit me how her husband and family still made that funeral into a celebration, and there was such hope and a positive message that they believe God had a better plan.  Her husband told us that he felt the only thing keeping him going was the prayer, and the love that everyone has been generously showing.  I feel overwhelmed with a longing to appreciate the people in my life and cherish the moments that are now, because life IS short, and we never know when will be the last time we see someone we love.  It also made me think about priorities, and what I am really living my life focused on.  It is so easy to get distracted in this busy life.  My deepest desire is to live in a way that shows others the intense love that I feel for my Savior and make choices that are pleasing to Him, not because I have to, but because I want to.  One of my favorite songs has the lyrics "How would you choose to define me, 'cares for others' or just 'cares what others think'?"  I truly want it to be the first one.  I often struggle with feeling like its hard to be out there helping others when I have so much to work on with my own life, and it sometimes feels like I get trapped in my own world when I should be reaching out.  I don't want to settle into a life that is "good enough", but rather work every day at making an effort to become a better wife, mother, friend, and daughter of Christ.  I just want to end of with the lyrics to a beautiful song that often brings me peace and comfort about the true and all-encompassing love of Jesus.


He's not mad at you 
He's not disappointed 
His grace is greater still, 
than all of your wrong choices 
He is full of mercy and he is ever kind 
Hear his invitation, His arms are open wide 

You can come as you are, 
with all your broken pieces 
And all your shameful scars 
The pain you hold in your heart, 
bring it all to Jesus 
You can come as you are 

Louder than the voice that whispers your unworthy 
Hear the sound of love, 
that tells a different story 
Shattering your darkness and pushing through the lies 
How tenderly he calls you, 
His arms are open wide 

You can come as you are, 
with all your broken pieces 
And all your shameful scars 
The pain you hold in your heart, 
bring it all to Jesus 
You can come as you are 

You can come as you are 

You can come as you are with all your broken pieces 
And all your shameful scars 
The pain you hold in your heart, 
bring it all to Jesus 
You can come as you are

Monday, June 18

How Big is a Fig?



That is the question I was asking myself today.  Not an easy question if you have never actually held a fig in your hand before.  A Fig Newton?  Yes.  But the actual fruit . . . not so much.  Why do I even care, you ask?  Everywhere I look, they tell me that my uterus is the size of a melon and my baby (yes, I said it!!) is the size of a fig.  Which leads me to a second question - what's with the comparison of my organs and tiny little child to fresh produce anyway?  But I digress.  So with much Googling (is that even a word?) and coming across some rather strange websites comparing figs to toy trains and half eaten candy bars, I finally discovered the answer that I coveted that a fig is around 1 1/2 inches.  Now THAT is something to wrap my head around! How can it be that this person growing inside of me is so small and yet as of this week, all of its main organs are formed and functioning?  Never mind the fact that all of its little fingers and toes are formed, it is already a boy or a girl (EEK!!), and when I see my doctor this week I will most likely be hearing its little heart beat!  Truly miraculous.

So now you know . . . baby number 4 is on the way for the Siemens family!  I feel excited, scared, blessed, and bewildered all at once.  All 5 of us are already cherishing this little one so much and I feel like I'm not taking a second of this pregnancy for granted.  I am thankful for every little symptom (yes, believe it or not, even the puking!) and sign that this life is really flourishing and growing inside of me - and boy is it growing! I started to show at 8 weeks already.  Don't believe me? Here's the proof:


Why the shock? Well it could be several things.  The actual pregnancy itself, the fact that I have a baby bump already, or just plain the fact that I am actually blogging!! Yes, for real!  I have really missed blogging this year for a number of reasons.  One of them being that I miss looking back at things I've posted about the kids when they were at different stages.  But the main reason is that I've just desired a place to share the daily things of life.  It's struggles, it's joys, its inspirations, and even its funny moments.  So yes, of course I am going to blog about my kids (because face it - they are a huge part of who I am today!) but I really want the focus of this blog to be what goes on below the surface in my life.  A place to be raw, open and honest.  

So there you go! If any of this interests you, feel free to come back and check out my blog once in a while! If not, you're missing out, lol!  Can't promise how regularly I'll post, but I guess that remains to be seen.